Tuesday, July 3, 2012

July 3

I am home.

After:

Twelve days in the hospital

One nephrectomy

One splenectomy

One colectomy

One repaired hernia

Removal of a liposarcomic (liposarcomac?) mass

Not to mention:

The hole they poked in my jugular

A double transfusion. While I was awake. (Did I mention the hole in my jugular? That's what they pumped the blood through.) Thank HEAVEN for two good friends who visited that night and took my mind off the quarts of blood being pumped into my body - through a hole in my neck. (Still gagging, just thinking about it.)

An additional CT on Saturday, which confirmed that I have some excess fluids where my organs used to be. This also explained some of the inexplicable pain I'd been feeling in that region. (For any interested parties, the fluid was deemed "unremarkable". It is assumable that my body will absorb the excess as part of the healing process. Here's hoping they're right, because I'm beyond creeped out at the thought of fluid just sloshing around in there.)

An epic vomit-a-thon, brought on by the barium I had to drink for said CT. ... Enter living through one of the Top Ten Worst Fears of My Life: Puking My Guts Up, Days Within Surgery, When My Stomach is (literally) Stapled Together. I lived through it. Barely. ... That was a special day in my life,  followed closely by the gas-and-diarrhea-fest that was getting rid of the rest of the barium (I'd only puked up the first 1/3 of the pitcher of barium), 24 hours later. Again, living through a gut bomb is never fun. But on the heels of abdominal surgery, when you have to hold a pillow to your stomach in an effort to push from the outside, making a conscious effort not to scream out loud whilst pushing.... That was a special, special experience

(Note: For the 13,284th time, I would not recommend abdominal surgery. Ever. Unless it's truly your only option. And at that point, do whatever you can not to ingest anything that's going to have to come out of your body in a fast, furious or otherwise painful manner.)

Oh, and one middle-of-the-night (not sure why I feel that I have to disclaim that, but I do) "accident" because I got so tangled up in my bed and my breathing apparatus that I couldn't make it to the toilet in time


Last night, they released me from the hospital. I may be less a few organs and plus some new aches and pains, but other than that... I'm still me. Only, now I get to be me at home and not at the hospital anymore.

That's right. After, like, half a month spent in the hopsital (not cheap rent either, I tell you)...

I am home.