Sunday, July 8, 2012

July 8

I don't usually think of myself as super strong. Truth be told, I am a weakling. Most 3 yr old girls have more upper body strength than I do, and I routinely use my AARP rubber/gripper to open milk bottles, juice bottles, spaghetti sauce jars... You get the picture.

Yes, I'm 37 and have an AARP rubber/gripper thing. My mom gave it to me when I moved down to Mesa. "Here", she said, "you're going to have a lot more use for this than I do."

But today, today I think I am super tough. You wanna know why? I will tell you.

I puked my guts up this morning at about 5:00. I have no idea why. I just did. Right into my favorite blanket, sitting on the edge of my recliner, I lost it.

I may never eat blackberries again. (You may quote me.)

And then I got out of my recliner, brushed my teeth and crawled back into bed, where, blessed relief and hallelujah, I was able to sleep for a couple hours.

I woke up at 7:30 and decided that I needed to go on a walk. So, I got myself out of bed, woke Mom up and we did a loop around the parking lot.

And this, my friends, is what has made me feel invincible today. I was pukey this morning, but I still went on a walk. It may have been a short walk, but it was a walk. And I did it w/o food in my body, on the brink of needing another dose of pain meds. Because I knew that going on a walk was what I needed to do.

It's on days like this, even when I'm tired and worn out and wondering how and when I'll ever be well again, that I am aware of and grateful for the knowledge that I will be given exactly the strength that I need to have in order to accomplish the tasks that I need to accomplish.

Today, I am SuperWoman. ... Mind you, I'm SuperWoman in need of three or more naps a day, but still... I am SuperWoman.