Monday, November 12, 2012

November 12

I'm on the four day countdown.

That's right... Four days.

Four more days. I can count them on the fingers of one hand. (Yup. Fingers. I don't even have to use my thumb anymore.)

In four days I will - for better or for worse - have the results to my scan.

*Deep breath*

...................................................................................................

It's been interesting, this time around. The anxiety that usually sets in about a month prior to my scan took longer to show up this time, and it hasn't been as constant/crippling as it has been in years past.

I usually have several weeks of the off-again-on-again crying jags, the sleepless nights and the all around wondering when the other shoe's gonna fall. This time, it didn't set in until two weeks prior to the scan (last Saturday was my first official "Crazy Day"), and the anxiety's been more off and less on than it has been in the past.

I'm okay with that.

As long as I keep myself busy (guess who's been cleaning, baking, laundry-ing and yes, even vacuuming, on a daily basis for the last week and a half?), I've been pretty well able to keep a lid on the anxiety.

I control what I can control. (It's pretty clean around here.)

Oh, and I eat a lot of peppermint M&M's.

And every morning, I know I have one less day on the countdown.

My scan is Thursday morning. I'll have the results Friday afternoon.

Four days. That's totally doable. (I may need to hit Target for more specialty/seasonal M&M's, though.)