Thursday, March 7, 2013

Food Rules

So, remember how I made some food rules in January? Here's how that went:

* I am not allowed to buy candy. (Caveat: I am allowed to eat candy that is already in my house, or anything that people bring in to work.)

-- I actually did this. Shocking, right? Not even when I was on a roadtrip, did I buy candy at the gas station. (Twice, in February.) Impressive, right?

But here's what I learned: It was a HUGE mistake to ban buying candy. It pretty much put me into starvation mode (which I know is ridiculous, but it's true). Like, since I couldn't buy any new candy, I felt compelled to eat my entire stash. Including the mint Kit-Kats that had been in my freezer since July 2010. (That's right. Almost three years. It's okay. "Candy never goes bad", so they were still good.) I'm telling you... I. Ate. It. All.

So, I'll never make that rule again. It's better for me to have candy on hand. I don't eat nearly as much chocolate when I can freely contribute to the stockpile as I do when I think maybe that 2 lb bag of plain M&M's may be the last candy that I ever see, so I'd better get it while the getting's good...

* I must eat two servings of fruits/vegetables a day.

-- I actually did this, too. And you know what? I found out that I liked this rule. Sort of a lot. So, I'm keeping it.

And yeah, I know it's ridiculous that I had to have a rule to MAKE myself eat God-given food. As you may or may not know, my three favorite food groups are: cereal (I could live on Shredded Wheat, I really could), granola bars (who loves Fiber One products more than me?) and microwave popcorn. It was kind of a stretch in the beginning, but I've really enjoyed having an excuse to eat strawberries, oranges and/or avocados every day of my life.

* I am only allowed to eat out for two meals a week.

This rule... didn't really fly. And not because I was a nachos-and-burrito-eating maniac. (I only had Taco Bell once in those two months, actually. Would you take a look at that self-control? Amazing, right?!) More, it didn't work because I am a sucker for going to dinner (or lunch or breakfast or ice cream or whatever) with my girlfriends, and I couldn't cap that at only twice a week. I did enact a rule mid-January that I was only allowed to eat out on my own once, but when I had a friend in emotional distress and there was a need to talk it out over Chinese (or Cafe Rio or CPK... you get the idea), then I could bend the rules and go to lunch.

* No fried chicken.

Okay, fine. I ate fried chicken. ... But it was only ONE time, and I had Jo's kids with me at Chick-Fil-A and there's nothing else to eat there. (You know, besides the fries and the cookies and cream shakes.)

So, the food rules were mostly a win. (Other than the INSANE amount of candy I consumed because I wasn't allowed to buy any new candy. ... Oh, and that I totally re-wrote the eating out rule. But other than that, mostly a win.)

Here are the updated rules, through Memorial Day:

* I can have Paradise Bakery's orange scones once a month.

Sad that I have to make this rule, but listen... they're delicious. And there's a Paradise on my way to work. And I stopped twice last week (two days in a row, actually). Maybe eating buttery and delicious orangey scones every day isn't such a swell idea. ... But I can totally do it once a month.

* I can drive through or pick up takeout once a week. No exceptions.

(Except for a friend in emotional distress who may need some support in grabbing a spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy's. Friends always trump food rules. The End.)

* No more buying Oreos.

I keep buying them to use as an ingredient. (First in a peanut butter/chocolate cake trifle, and then in a frosting recipe that my beloved cousin Becca says is the best thing ever.) But then I just eat them. (It's the double-stuff. I can't help it.)

The caveats are: All bets are off when I'm on vacation, or someone who's on vacation is with me. When it's play time, none of the rules apply. (Which translates directly into: "Julie, you MUST try these orange scones. We'll get them for breakfast one of the days (or maybe three of the days) you're here next week. You'll think you died and went to Baked Goods Heaven!" and "Dad, we're definitely going to need some double-stuffed Oreos when I come home Easter weekend!")

1 comment:

Superjulie said...

I can bring a package of Oreos with me because that frosting has me intrigued. Or we can eat the whole thing. Either option works for me. And they're on sale this week for $1.50.