I saw this on the FB this morning, and I thought... "I know it's not the day after Christmas anymore, but this is still true, so I'm putting it on ye olde blog."
Seriously, you guys... This has been, hands down, the best Christmas ever. (And when I say that, please know that I'm not talking about the presents I got. It's not like anyone's keeping track, but for the record: a book I didn't want, a movie I already owned (so I gave it right back to Judy), and a real awesome pirated version of Mr. Boogedy - that one is a real treasure, but only because I remember really loving it when I was in jr high.)
I know I've said this over and over again, but... I can't tell you how grateful I am for the time I have been given. I had been prepped by my doctors to expect chemo to start at the end of November/first of December. With a round every three weeks, I would have spent the last week in a hospital.
I had absolutely no reason to think I'd get Christmas. ... But I did. And I'm so grateful!
In the last week, I've:
Been so happy that I was literally bouncing. (If my body was still in a position to jump up and down, I would have. But, since I can't jump, I bounced on the balls of my feet. Seriously. I stood in my living room and I bounced, like Tigger. It was kind of ridiculous.) I cannot remember the last time I was that happy. What a gift!
Been so worn out by all the love and the hugging that I fell asleep, sitting up. Ha! Last Sunday, I went to church in the ward I grew up in, and saw dozens of people whom I love more than I can say. After church, there were people literally standing in a line, waiting to hug Judy and me. And then, I had people stopping me in the halls to talk for a good 30-45 minutes after sac mtg. I made an appearance at my parents' ward afterward, but was too tired to stay there for more than half an hour. As soon as I got home, I sat down with a book and promptly fell asleep. I remember that my last thought was, "I am beloved in 8th ward". (Ha!) Who knew that there could be such a thing as hug-induced overstimulation? (Figures that it would be me who felt like she was gonna die from being hugged too much. We all know that I am NOT a hugger, by nature.) But man alive, it was awesome to see all those people from my past. I love them!
Baked (and frosted) three batches of sugar cookies, for (and with) people I love.
Sung until I couldn't hit the high notes in Hark, the Herald! (And those "high notes" aren't even high!)
Been full of so much emotion that I can't help but cry. ... In a good way.
Walked at least a mile, on four separate occasions. (I know it's sort of lame to be so happy about taking four walks in a week, but listen... It's a big deal when I feel well enough to do that. And that I could walk for consecutive days - up and down hills, because I was in Taylor - is pretty huge right now.)
The last month, the last week (who's kidding who... this day of hanging out at home by myself, catching up on TV, thanks Amazon and Hulu!) has been a gift!
I'm so grateful. Probably more grateful than I've ever been.
I sort of hate what the cancer has done to my body, but man alive... do I love what it has done for my life.
My emotions run deeper, my attachments to the people in my life are tangible, love is a real force in my life.
I'm so grateful. For the people I love, and for the time that I get to spend with them. That my health is as good as it is right now. For more time, to clean my pantry. (Or, you know... watch the last three seasons of Gilmore Girls.)
Life is good, kids. Real, real, good.
I fully intend to have a merry rest of the year. (Heck, I'll probably even carry it to 2015!) I hope you do, too.