Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Today was the day.

The day that I vowed to never wear a skirt (or pants - or anything else with any kind of an *actual waistband) ever again. Or until Henry goes the way of Darth Vader.

Hen is out of control. (Okay, so am I. ... By which I mean: I am fully aware that part of Henry's problem is that the person who feeds this body thinks that nachos are a legitimate breakfast option. But listen... nachos meet multiple food group requirements. Seriously: cheese, grains, vegetables/fruits - if you add tomatoes and/or avocado. They're a balanced meal! ... Sort of.)

But I digress.

Here's a pic of me that was taken this morning. (I make note that this was a morning shot, because Henry gets bigger as the day goes on. Between the gravity that literally pulls him further out of me the longer I stand and... well... the nachos (and other foods) that I ingest that make my stomach full, Henry is a significantly bigger deal by nightfall than he was in the AM. Every day of my life.)

*Good news: Yoga pants don't have actual waistbands. Phew!



See that off-centered bulge right around where my bellybutton should be? ... That's my friend Henry.

(Don't you worry. I didn't wear just this shirt and skirt out of the house.  That would have been obscene. I put my pink ruffly shirt OVER the black shirt. I've found that nothing hides Henry better than ruffles do. ... Good thing I've been a big fan of ruffley tops since 1978. Thus, I own A LOT of clothes with built-in camouflaging ruffles.)

Anyhoo... the skirt that I was wearing today rests right under Henry. I've been fine wearing this skirt for MONTHS, because the waistband was low enough that it never bugged. ... Gone are the days.

By 10:00 this morning, I could feel the underside of Henry chafing from rubbing against my skirt as I walked.

I guess it'll be maternity dresses and yoga pants for a while... (I'm swearing off the maternity jeans for the next little bit. Since they sort of slipped right off my bum while I was on a date last week, I'm thinking they'll be keeping the top shelf in my closet company for a while.)

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