1. When do I start chemo?
Good question. ... I don't have an answer yet. I'll need to have my next scan first. Then, depending on what's going on in there, I'll either get a start date or another 6 week bye.
2. When IS my next scan, anyway?
Seven days. One week. Next Thursday. (Gulp.) And, as always, I'll get the results the following afternoon.
So, what I'm saying is... give me a week and I'll have a more definitive answer to the first question.
3. How am I feeling these days?
Listen, I'm not gonna lie to you.
I'm feeling... not awesome.
I mean, I've felt worse.
But I've also felt better.
I've had shooting pain off and on for a few weeks, but it got a little more insistent the week of Christmas. The 29th was the first day that I felt like there may be a shiv twisting its way through my left ovary. (The pain hit around 2:00 in the afternoon, and at 3:00, I had a coworker turn and look at me and say, "It must be bad... because I can SEE the pain in your eyes." ... Awesome.)
For those of you (I'm talking to you, Judy) who may not watch enough television to know what a shiv is, I've included the following:
(You know me. Always looking for a way to increase the vocab...)
Thankfully, the shiv effect hasn't been constant. (It's been more of a day-on-day-off thing.) But there's something going on in there. And it hurts like the devil.
Give me a week and I'll know if it's a displaced organ (anything is possible with this body!), a growing tumor (or two), new hernias (always a possibility), or something else altogether.
Meanwhile, I'm drinking all the diet soda I can (listen... I already have the cancer, what's aspartame gonna do to me at this point?!) and enjoying the crap out of all the delicious food I can eat.
I'm hanging in there. Getting as much done as I possibly can. (That's right. I've done four loads of laundry this week. Also, I vacuumed.)
Speaking of, here's a fun little true story from my real life: I had a friend come over tonight to help me deal with the TV situation in my bedroom. Before I'd even had time to process the thought, it came flying right out of my mouth, "Ya know how pregnant women start nesting before the baby comes? ... It seems that cancer patients are hardcore nesters when they know chemo's coming. I've got to get this place set up!" Bless his heart, because dude didn't miss a beat. Just nodded, and then stayed long enough to make sure everything was fully functional. (Which may or may not have included taking apart the remote and flipping the batteries so they were right-way-up. ... I'd put them in upside down. Because I am adorable like that and all kinds of challenged when it comes to electronic devices.)
My body is a little broken, but life is good.
I am SO looking forward to my dinner plans tomorrow night with a friend from home and her husband who is also fighting the big C. Aaaaaaand my sweet friend Genevra Lynn is coming into town and will spend the weekend with me.
The pain isn't constant... and the source of it is still unknown. It'll either sort itself out (displaced organs usually do) or it'll need medical intervention (tumors and/or hernias... story of my life). We'll see. Time will tell.
And as soon as I have answers to any/all of the three questions above, I'll fill ya'll in. In the meanwhile, know that I love you about 10,247 times more than I love my guts. (Which is to say: a lot.)