Anyway, I have now been diagnosed with a condition that requires antibiotic intervention.
And this isn't just any old antibiotic. It comes with its own set of (bizarro) rules: Take every twelve hours, do not take within 2 hours of ingesting dairy or a multi-vitamin, avoid sunlight, as medication has shown an increased rate of sunburn in those taking the drug.
I AM NOT KIDDING YOU.
I took my first pill last night around 8:00. (Luckly, I had spaghetti for dinner last night, so I was void of all things dairy in my system. Oh, and the sun had gone down. So, that dosage was relatively risk-free.)
This morning, I was awake early and spent some time in bed planning out my 8:00 AM dosage. (I kid you not. I lie in bed and think about these things. ... Who's kidding who? I lie in bed and think about a lot of things these days. But this morning, I was thinking about my new pill and I was planning my breakfast around it.)
I wanted yogurt, but knew that would be bad. I wanted a bagel with cream cheese (the top half, because that's my favorite), but that would also be naughty. (Not to mention, there's not a bagel - or cream cheese - in this house.) Then my mind wandered to biscuits and gravy. ... Uh, no. White flour is the enemy right now. (Have I mentioned the constipation issues? Like pouring actual glue into my intestines would be a good idea? Please.)
After carefully considering all of my options, I got myself up out of bed, *toddled into the kitchen, opened all six bottles that I am currently taking my morning pills out of, piled the pills on the counter and systematically downed them with my bottle of water.
Then I took my breakfast over to the recliner (I don't have children, so I can eat anything I want, anywhere I want) and sat back to enjoy my... bowl of Shredded Wheat.
That's right. I had cereal for breakfast. And it didn't dawn on me until I was sipping the milk out of the bowl that I had just done what I had been told I couldn't do.
Milk IS Dairy, Evans.
And I'd totally taken my antibiotic right before I ate.
The kicker is, I knew I couldn't have dairy. And spent a good 30 minutes in my bed, planning my breakfast, to make sure I was following the rules, before I got out of bed and "made" myself breakfast.
I'm blaming this one on chemo brain.
*Oh, and in case you're wondering why I'm toddling about these days it's a combination of being tired and dizzy aaaaaaand (drumroll, please) bone pain. The bottoms of my feet were hit yesterday with a really insane amount of pain. As in, the heels of my feet feel like I'm walking on glass, every time I put a foot down. So, needless to say, I'm justifying staying in bed a lot more often these days. Which is just as well, since if I went back to taking a walk around the pool every day, this new med might make my lily white head go fuchsia. Fast.