No, thanks, Groupon.
I'm not so much in need of your six sessions of Laser Hair Reduction for only $139. You see, I went the alternate round of spending thousands of dollars to open up a vein in my chest and have medical personnel literally pour poison right into my body over the course of several days, thereby killing ALL my hair follicles.
So, I'm good on the hair removal offer right now.
Maybe next time you could offer me something like painting classes, or a discount to see a live show? (Either or both of which I would be happy to redeem in several month's time, after I am approved to leave the house again.)