Sunday, April 19, 2015

The last 24 (ish) hours

I'm home now.

It's awesome to be back here. I mean, I can't even tell you how great it is to come home after being tied to an IV pole for four+ days. (Just typing that, I gagged. It seems that my body has some IV-pole-related PTSD. Oh, and I'm due for nausea meds. It's a winning combination.)

We got home yesterday morning around 11. I was able to make it up the stairs and into my recliner. ... I woke up around 3:00, thirsty and (of course) having to pee.

I swear, peeing is my life during (and the 48 hours following) chemo. ... So much pee. It's insane. Today, I had to go back to the hospital for my Neulasta shot. Of course, they weighed me before sticking my arm. And I'd lost 9 lbs since my last vitals/weigh in yesterday. NINE POUNDS in just over 24 hours, kids. That's some serious water weight. (Also, I'm now officially under my driver's license weight. I'd been flirting with that number for 2-3 weeks. Turns out all it took to push me under - HARD - was this last round of chemo.)

So, as I was saying... lots of potty breaks going on over here. Even now. I wonder on a fairly regular basis how it is that I'm able to dig myself out of a hospital bed, cross the room to unplug the IV pole, and then pull the pole with me into the bathroom when I'm in the hospital... when I can barely make it the 20 straight feet from my recliner to the toilet in my own home. (I know you all love it when I over share. But seriously, I do wonder how I do it when I'm in the hospital. "Tender mercies" comes to mind...)

And speaking of tender mercies... can I just tell you that I'm SO grateful that I've never fallen when I'm in the hospital? I fell twice last night. The first time, I think I may have passed out (the amount of pain I was in was straight up INSANE), and I caught myself on the way down. (My left arm's gonna have one heck of a bruise in a couple days. I don't even care. I'm just so glad that the towel rod caught me before I went all the way down.) The second time, my feet just slipped right out from under me. Luckily, I was close enough to the toilet that I was able to maneuver myself and I fell right onto the seat. My body hurts from the falling/catching/landing in weird places, but I just can't get over how grateful I am that I fell HERE, and not in the hospital, where my port and/or chemo bags could have so easily been impacted.

Another fun fact from the Neulasta shot episode... I had to go to the hospital instead of MD Anderson (because it's Sunday), which meant more of a hike to register and get to the floor where they'd do the shot. Luckily, I realized about three minutes into standing for registration that I was too tired to stand (my falls from last night have me a little spooked), so I sent Judy for a wheelchair. We had a wheelchair race with a man (about my age) pushing his dad (about Judy's age) on our way out of the nurse's station. I'm pretty sure they let us win, but it was still fun.

It's been a day. I slept most of yesterday and officially went to bed around 8:00. Judy woke me up at 10:00 to go get my shot, and I've been finding stuff to keep me busy since we got home, to ensure that I'll be able to sleep through the night tonight.

Chemo is a funny thing, how it both speeds up and slows down time. It's hard to believe it was one week ago RIGHT NOW that I was with friends at the Mesa temple, because it feels like it's been a year. That said, what I know is that the days move pretty fast when I'm on the other side of the mouth sores, which gives me comfort that I won't always be this tired (or have to pee this often).


Evvie Turley said...

Oh Miss Laurie! How I love you and cannot believe what you're going through. Every time I read a post I just shake my head. I cannot believe how strong you are. I cannot believe how you keep your sunny attitude despite all of your pain and suffering. You continue to be an inspiration to me! I know that if you can do these hard things, I can do all of the WAY LESS hard things in my life. Thank you for keeping us all updated and laughing and wanting to run to you and give you hugs and love. I always get giggly when I read your posts about pain and pee pee! That doesn't sound right in any sense of the word, but it's my honest reaction. You are one incredible lady with an unbreakable spirit! I pray for you continually and hope you feel the love I am sending to you. You rock, chicken pock!

Genevra said...

Oh wow Laurie. Man, those side effects are awful. And I had no idea your body could hold onto and quickly release 9 pounds of fluid. The human body is an amazing thing. So is your spirit and attitude.