I went to church today, for the first time in ten weeks.
It's funny, how not being able to do something makes you really want to do it. (Insert ironic eye roll here, because going to church has never been something that I want to do on a weekly basis. ... I mean, I don't hate it. But I also don't wake up on Sundays thinking "Hooray! Today, I get to go to church!" ... Except, today I did.)
It was so good to be back in my familiar seat. (Second row from the back, left side of the chapel, aisle seat, purse blocking the seat next to me to ensure my solitude.) It was great to sing songs that are part of who I am, and it was awesome to see people I love, and who I know love me.
I was stopped by a couple sweet sisters on my way out of the building this afternoon, women who wanted to tell me they love me and pray for me every day, and I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies.
It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day struggles of my life, most of which I have to face myself, due to the very nature of the battle that I am fighting. I always know that I am loved. I never feel like I am in this alone. Whether it's in the forefront or at the back of my mind, I always know that I have the most incredible support system and cheering squad in, like, the world.
But today... Today I got to feel love in a way that I don't always feel it.
And that was truly a gift.
From the familiar nods and smiles at church, to the way my sweet friend Beth just grabbed me and hugged me and then apologized, saying she didn't know if that was "allowed" (it typically isn't, but I'll make all kinds of exceptions for that girl), to an unplanned field trip to the Mesa temple visitors' center where, again, a sweet little Chilean sister missionary grabbed me by the waist (I mean that quite literally, she didn't even come up to my armpit) and hugged me, telling me that she was glad I had come to the temple, to my niece and nephews running to the door to hug me hello when I got to my brother's house for dinner tonight...
Today, I have felt love.
I mean, love has had an overwhelming presence in my life today.
I am always aware that I have been blessed to know some of the very best people. I'll be the first to tell anyone that I have more love in my life than I can begin to understand. But today, I have felt such an incredible amount of love flowing in and out of me... all day long that it's just been... well... amazing.
Part of me wishes all the days could be like today, but most of me knows that I couldn't handle it if they were. (Let's be real, there aren't enough tissues in the world to soak up all the happy tears. It would be exhausting... and messy.) But that doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for a day like this, totally awash in warm and fuzzies that go to my core. Because I am. So (so!) grateful.