Tuesday, September 1, 2015


Have we had a conversation yet about how much I love my gummy vitamins/supplements? Because, if we haven't, we need to.

I love them.

They're like candy, except they're full of vitamins. So, basically health food that's candy.

Win/win, right?!

My love affair with the gummies started when I had a consult with my GP doctor pre-chemo and she advised that I start taking D3, because I was about to lose any quality time I was used to getting with the sun. I made a face (as I am wont to do when medical professionals tell me I need to swallow more pills), and she immediately came back with "They have gummies! They're delicious, and do exactly the same thing that pills do."


Since I started with the D3 gummies in February, I've slowly and steadily been finding more gummies to add to my daily regimen. (Mult-vitamins? No, thank you. I'd rather chew two separate pieces of fruity candy for every kind of vitamin.)

I'm up to five different kinds of gummies (that's 10 gummies a day - basically a package of fruit snacks). One of which is this swell fiber supplement.

Don't judge. Some of us need to eat, like, 200% of our daily recommended fiber (plus stool softeners and laxatives) if we want to poop. (Some of us = me, btw. Please don't lose your cool and be jealous of my awesome guts and how much help they need just to plod along.)

Jo had bought me a massive Costco bottle of these fiber goodies during chemo (I think there were 400 in the bottle), and I finished them up just yesterday.

When I was packing for Houston, I realized I was almost out of these bad boys, and because I knew the last thing I'd want to do when I got back would be to go to WalMart to buy more gummies... I ordered a bottle from Amazon. (Prime has its perks. Free shipping is the best!) (Also, I was right. Because I was pretty much out of toothpaste before I went to Houston. My intention was to use the rest of the tube and then leave it in the hotel trash bin. ... That's definitely not what happened. I brought that empty tube of toothpaste home, and I've been squeezing the life out of it, morning, noon and night, because I don't want new toothpaste bad enough to make myself go to the store for it. I'm super lame.)

Anyhoo... as I was saying, I finished up the gigantor bottle of fiber goodies yesterday. Which meant that I had to go to the office to pick up my mail today, to get the new bottle of gummies that had come while I was out of town. (Yeah, I've been home for four days and have yet to go to the store for toothpaste. And I'd been letting mail pile up in the office since I left town last Wednesday. I'm the greatest.)

And, this, ladies and gentleman is what I found...

I promise you that A) this is not what I ordered. You can tell, because the bottle says "sugar free" and we all know that this girl loves her sugar. 

And B) Those aren't gummies. That's just one, giant, solid.

Also, proof that there's something different about the dark pink ones. (I always thought they tasted weird. Looks like there's a reason for that. They're the one flavor that didn't melt into the mass. Grody.)

I have no idea what happened. (I mean, besides extreme heat. That definitely happened.) The package had been sitting in the air-conditioned office all weekend, so it's not like the 117 degree heat got to it as it was sitting on my porch. My guess is the Fed Ex truck's A/C went out and everyone who got anything delivered on Friday got soup.

At any rate, I have no fiber gummies. You'd think this would make me get dressed and go to the store. Uhm... no. Instead, I ate a bowl of grapes and two peaches and have decided to have popcorn for dinner. Surely, that's enough fiber to offset the gummies I didn't eat today.

Maybe I'll go to the store tomorrow. For fiber gummies. And toothpaste. And some more grapes, since I ate everything that was in my fridge this afternoon...


Genevra said...

Oh my gosh, that is quite the visual. Let me ask you this, have you ever gotten nauseous with the gummies? I find I have that problem with some supplements and I wonder if the gummies would not cause that issue.

Evvie Turley said...

Wow............perhaps you could just us a melon baller scoop and daily scoop away at that massive glob. If I were there I would go to the store for you! I'd get me some of those fiber gummy bad boys too; they sound splendid!

Laurie said...

Genevra, I've never had vitamins/supplements make me nauseous, buy I do have a long history of them making me gassy and burpy - and the burps are super gross and vitaminy. (If that makes sense.) I've never had that issue with the gummies. Reason #327 why I love them!

Jenni said...

Hahahahaha! That's one big gummy fruit. Can you spoon it out and make it into your own shapes? Like fondant? Today a revolver, tomorrow a lead pipe, next day a candlestick...in the kitchen...

And I swear we are EXACTLY the same about the shopping thing. Oh, the lengths to which I will go to avoid the grocery store. "Mom! This milk tastes weird." Hmmm...probably because I made powdered milk in the middle of the night because I didn't want to get dressed.

This is a weekly occurrence, I swear.