Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The adventures of Cancer Girl and Gun Boy

It's an unconventional love story, to be sure. But since when am I (or is anything else about my life) predictable?

All, this is Steve. We met online, in September, and were exclusive mid-October.

I'd gone online this summer, hoping to find myself a fling while I had a little bit of hair and some social energy. (Don't judge. So what if I like free movies and free dinners?) Steve was... not looking for a fling. (Because he's a better person than me.)

I wasn't sure (read: honestly did not think) that I had it in me to be in a relationship, especially with someone new to my life. On so many levels, I am not who I used to be, and I didn't think I would be able to invest the energy into getting to know someone. Nor, frankly, did I expect that I'd meet a man who would want to invest in a future with me, knowing that I had cancer, was currently between treatments, and that the chemo shoe was bound to drop in the next few months.

But... I met someone who did want to invest in a future. And he bought in, big.

He brought his compassion and his empathy and his kindness and... his... erm... guns... right into my house, and he has changed my life.

This man who I have next to nothing in common with, as far as his love of all things Star Wars and my conviction that I was meant to live (upstairs) at Downton Abbey, wanted to be a part of my life. So much so that he talked me off multiple ledges in the beginning, and has firmly stuck himself in the mud of the not-so-much-fun that is chemo.

When I wasn't sure if I wanted to put up Christmas this year, because I thought it would be hard to have a reminder that I wasn't living my normal holiday, his was the voice that reminded me that, no matter how crappy I feel, what has always made me happy will continue to make me happy -- and that, if I didn't put up my tree, the cancer would win.

When my hair started to fall out, and I was crying because I was losing (again) what had always made me beautiful, he stopped me, mid-sentence, and corrected me, saying that while he was sure my hair had made me feel pretty... I needed to know that it wasn't my hair, long or short, that had ever made me beautiful.

He's taken me to my doctor appointments, rubbed my feet when they're swollen, and held my hand while poison is pumped into my veins.

He brings me flowers, and Taco Bell, and whatever candy I tell him that I want from the gas station. 

And he bends over to kiss my cheek while he's pushing my wheelchair.

I wasn't looking for a relationship. I wasn't expecting to find love, especially now, in this season of my life, smack in the middle of cancer treatments. But man alive, am I glad that I did. 


Myra said...

This makes my heart swell with gladness!

Sabrina Gardner said...

This us so sweet and tender, it made me tear up. I am so happy that you've got someone that loves you for who you are and sees all that beauty even without hair. What a wonderful man. I'm So glad you have each other, because I'm sure you are blessing his life too!

Jenni said...

Perfect. So happy for you.

Charity said...

I'm SOOOO happy for you!! You deserve love at any stage in your life and to have someone that will support you in this way is a rare find! I couldn't be happier for you! 😀

Crowwyng said...

OK, can I just say I told you so now, and that I get Cary Grant! Love you!

Melissa said...

I am beyond happy for you, my dearest Laurie! And he is 100% right - your hair was never what made you beautiful! Wishing you all of the best - now and always. Love you!

shana said...

WOO HOO!!!!!!!! This post makes me so very happy. Hooray!!!!

Evvie Turley said...

Isn't that the way love finds you when you're least expecting it! We are not in charge and that is a wonderful thing most the time, especially when it manifests in the form of a handsome hunk who brings you gas station candy! Love you and love that you've found L-O-V-E!!

Anonymous said...

Hey girl, this is Cylena from Taylor -
I got on here tonight after I sent you a video about a Dole pineapple whip fake out - I just wanted to catch up w/ what you had been up to lately since Facebook thinks we're not friends anymore for some weird reason & bam! I stumble onto this hot guy in your life! Awesome! I have no idea who this guy is, but he must be awesome! I loved reading your story about how you met! Love can seriously help us humans get through some of the most difficult times can't it! & it has the crazy way of appearing in our lives when we think there isn't room or time or whatever for it huh. I'm so happy that the stupid cancer didn't take love from you - I mean seems like it takes all the other stuff imaginable from people but yeah I mean you get to actually feel this kind of thing right now - man I need one of those Vulcan mind meld things now cuz I can't figure out words to explain myself - but you know what I'm talking about right? Emotions are funny - I barely even know you & somehow I am able to feel like billions of emotions for you & your situation just from reading a few posts on here. Thanks for taking the time to write all this stuff down you make me feel inspired - angered - moved (in both good & bad ways)-and like 8000 more things that don't even have words in the dictionary! <3