TV and how it touches my life

I've been watching a lot of Alias today. (Netflix is my one true love.) And Sydney Bristow's chiseled jaw blows my freaking mind.




I tell you what, her jaw (as well as the rest of her, let's be honest) borders on not being human.

I've given a lot of thought to how I could accomplish having such a chiseled jaw at some point in my life and I've come to the conclusion that I'd have to a) give up eating potato chips by the bag for pretty much ... well, forever ... as well as b) take up kick boxing or running or some other such madness.

So, I've decided that I should keep BOTH of my chins and stop wondering how in the world Jennifer Garner got her one chin so darn defined.

That being said, I'm pretty sure that there's a pint of ice cream in the freezer that needs to be polished off. (Whilst I watch Syd kick some serious terrorist trash.)

That's all for now. But stay tuned, because when I OD on TV like this, it usually stirs up all kind of drama in my life. (By which I mean: I start imagining all kinds of things, like what I'd do if I were a spy and had to choose between letting my former lover be shot to death or stabbing him not-quite-to-death myself so I could save his life, or what I'd do if I was sharing a pint of ice cream with one Will Tippen and we ended up kissing over the hot fudge.) I tell you what, good dramatic TV (esp spy shows) make my imagination run wild - and that, my friends, could make for some fun posts in the next few days.

Over and out.

Things that make me laugh out loud

Yes, out loud. (Thank heavens I have the ability to laugh this time around. I don't know if it's because my incision is 3 inches shorter than it was last time, or if it's because Heavenly Father knew how incredibly difficult it was for me not to be able to laugh for three weeks in the summer of 2010... but this time, I can laugh. Not for an incredibly long time, mind you, and not at full force, but I can laugh. Which is a blessing. A big one.)

But I digress. As usual. ... I was going to tell you what's been making me laugh lout loud.

Netflix. Netflix has been making me laugh out loud.

I will explain.

First, let me just say that I have the best friends ever. My friend Genevra gifted me a 3 month Netflix subscription, because she knows me and knows that watching movies is pretty much my favorite thing ever (and a very easy thing to do while convalescing).

For those of you who haven't done the Netflix thing, I'll take a moment and explain that one of the first things the website has you do is go through and rate several movies. It does this so it can get a good feel of what type of movie you like to watch, so it can give educated suggestions as to what you might want to put in your queue.

This morning, I rated about 300 movies. (No, I'm not kidding. It's something I can do from the luxury of my recliner, and Mom's busy writing her memoirs in her 3-ring notebook over on the couch. We co-exist quite nicely, no?)

Rating the movies, alone, is a crack up and a half. Why? Because it has you rank them from 1 (worst movie ever) to a 5 (I freaking LOVE this movie and would watch it every day of my life) - there is also an "I haven't seen this movie, nor would I like to" option. After ranking the movie between 1-5, a little blip comes up that shows you the category of movie, and asks you if you watch this type of movie "never", "sometimes" or "often". (The "never" option slays me. Hi, I just told you I watched this movie. Clearly, I wouldn't say I never watch movies like this. Weirdos.) What's been killing me is the way they code, or categorize, a movie.

Some of them make sense:

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial was coded as heartwarming. (Okay, that makes sense.)

Runaway Bride was listed as a wedding movie. (Duh. But again, makes sense.)

Most of them do not make sense:

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was coded as a father/daughter movie. (Really? Because I'd have gone more with "action adventure". PS - I hated this movie. One of the worst dates of my life. Remind me to NEVER tell you about it.)

Finding Nemo was coded as an undersea adventure. (Undersea adventure, ala Jacques Cousteau? Uh... no. Whatever happened to "animated", or "animal tale", which is what Ice Age was given, btw? So random.)

Secret Window was coded as a movie about marriage. (What the heck?! Has anyone else seen this show? I have, and I like it, because I enjoy Johnny Deep when he's creepy as all get-out. But let me just say, a movie about marriage, this is not. Stephen King isn't known for his relationship dramas, y'know.)

Salt was coded as a movie from the 2010's. (Hi. 2010 was only one year, there's no need to pluralize that. Also, I think "spy" or "espionage" would have been a better category than "movie from the 2010's", but whatever.)

You can see why I rated over 300 movies. The descriptions of the movies alone was some good entertainment. But my favorite part is yet to come.

The suggestions of what to put in my queue. Priceless, I tell you. Priceless.

I will show you:

What Lies Beneath, because I enjoyed: Sweet Home Alabama, My Best Friend's Wedding and Runaway Bride. (Clearly, What Lies Beneath is another creepy thriller that was somehow mistakenly categorized as a movie about weddings - or marriage - ala Secret Window.)

LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring because I enjoyed: X2 - X-Men United, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and Star Trek. (What in the world do these four movies have in common? I mean, WHAT?! PS - I would sooner die than watch LOTR. The creatures. Ewh. Wolverine, not creepy. Elves and fairies, super creepy.)

Conspiracy Theory, because I enjoyed: Runaway Bride, The Patriot and Hook. (Uhh... Other than casting, what do these movies have in common with each other? I don't watch movies just because Mel Gibson and/or Julia Roberts is in them. Weird.)

So, Netflix. It is a never ending source of enjoyment for me. Even if all I ever do is rate movies so I can see how they were categorized, it's a good time.