Bippity-Boppity-BACON!

I tell you what, this clip makes me laugh out loud. Why? Because I so love bacon.

In truth, this whole routine makes me laugh out loud. Seriously, the man is HILAR!

I would like to thank my friend Kimmie for bringing this dvd over to amuse me in my time of Radiation and confinement. (Okay, so I'm not really "confined", but I'm too flipping tired to go anywhere or do much, so the stack o' movies she brought over was super nice.) This stand up dvd is pretty much the funniest darn thing - EVER. Probably because I, too, am lazy. And indoorsy. And love bacon.

Jim Gaffigan, I totally heart your humor.

And now I think I'll go and make some bacon and eggs for lunch.

The End.

Who do I love?

Captain Mal. Dr. Adam Mayfair. Kevin Callis. Dr. Jim Pomatter. The Holy Avenger. Captain Hammer. Joey Buchanan. Richard Castle.

(And by association - literally, association - my friend James. But that story will come a little later.)

Nathan Fillion. That's who I love.

Did you see that wink? ... Be still, my beating heart. Also, the man carries Oreos around with him?! And I'd thought that I couldn't possibly love him any more than I did before I saw that clip. Help me, Rhonda.

And because the bit with the ice cube makes me laugh out loud, I am including this little beauty.



Sundays. They are the best day for watching youtube videos of my fav celeb boyfriend. I heart Sundays. (And Nathan.)

The End.

A Progress Report

Today, I hit the halfway mark for the radiation treatments. Three weeks down, three to go. Halle-freakin-lujah! And I thought it would be fun to give ya'll a little recap of what I can (and still cannot) do these days.

It's been just over 8 weeks since surgery. I still cannot roll over. I understand most babies learn to roll over between 3-5 months. ... My abdominal muscles aren't as strong as those of a 5 month old baby. Awesome. (But I can lie on my side now, thankyouverymuch.)

I can shave my own legs. (I just heard a whoop of "hooray!" around the world.) Life is good. (Any day now, I should be able to clip/paint my toenails again. Ya'll are looking forward to that day as much as I am, I'm sure.)

I can lift a gallon of milk. (I know, that's not one most of you would find impressive. But trust me, it's a big deal.)

I can wear a 1 1/2 in heel - but 2 inches is too much and they make my stomach hurt. (Oh, the muscles we women use to balance on our girly shoes. It's so funny to me.)

I can get out of a float in the swimming pool. (For a while there, I had to swear off the pool. The first time I went swimming, I got stuck in a float and for the life of me could not bend in half to get out of it. It was terrifying - and hilarious. I can now float and un-float at will. I bend in the middle again. Wahoo!)

I can't carry a heavy purse. (As ridiculous as I know that sounds, it's true. The weight and bulk of my normal-sized purse isn't comfortable. I'm the queen of clutches these days. Any of you who are familiar with my usual purses can imagine how hard it is for me to carry a bag that will only fit my phone and wallet in it.)

I can sleep through the night. (The fact that I can sleep more than 4 hours at a time is still thrilling to me. Now that I can fall asleep on my side, I fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer than I'd been thinking would ever happen again. ... One of the "perks" of radiation is that I'm pretty tired. As in, I'm sleeping for 9-11 hours every night these days. - My usual is 7, maybe 8. It's mind blowing that not only can I sleep through the night, I can sleep until 8:00 or 9:00 in the AM.)

I can't eat ice cream, cheese, grapes, or more than 4 baby carrots at any given time. (This last week, I've tried to play with the diet. I've experimented with the foods on the forbidden list and have found that, uh... yeah, there's a reason I'm not allowed to eat fruits, vegetables, or anything with a dairy base. Awesome. The good news? I can keep 4 baby carrots down. They don't seem to cause any major issues - as long as I only eat 4, once a day. Hahaha.)

I'm off the prescription pain meds, and am down to only 3 doses of ibuprofen a day. (I feel less like a druggie, which is good. For a while there, I was wondering if I'd need to join a support group for Percoset Users Anonymous. ... Not that I'd be all that "anonymous", seeing as I've pretty much told the whole www that I love the stuff and it was my best friend for weeks after surgery.)

I'm walking less and sitting more. (They'd told me, when I started radiation, that I'd be tired. I had no idea how tired I'd be. I mean, I was tired after surgery, but it was different. This tired is a funny thing, because I sleep for-freaking-ever at night, but still wake up with just enough energy to sit still all day. The good news? It won't last forever. And I'm re-watching the entire series of LOST.)

I'm not eating chocolate. At all. Which, if you know me even one little bit, you know is STRANGE behavior. It's on the forbidden list, and is pretty much the one thing I have truly steered away from. (Why? Because if chocolate made me sick, it might ruin our relationship forever, and I just can't take that kind of risk.)

So, like I said. It's been 8 weeks since surgery - and I'm 3 weeks into radiation. This whole mess of a surgery oriented summer is more than half over. On the one hand, it's been fast. On the other, I don't even remember what it was like to eat/feel/sleep like a normal person. Hardcore digestive issues will most likely set in next week, as they'll be changing the radiation fields. (They've been hitting the same spot(s) for the last 3 weeks. The next 3 weeks will have varied treatment fields and strengths, to make sure they've hit not only the original tumor area, but any surrounding areas that were affected as well.)

I'm doing well (as long as I don't eat cheese, grapes or other forbidden foods - hehehe). I'm taking anti-nausea meds every day, and they're helping. I sleep a lot, which I figure will help my stomach muscles heal so one day (hopefully soon) I can roll from my back onto my stomach and over again. Radiation is halfway over, and as much as I do enjoy the techs there telling me how cute I am every day, I'm looking forward to the day that I don't have to go back. ... Maybe I could get a new "Laurie, you look cute" support group going to take their place. I wonder if I could get James to talk to Nathan about heading that up. Hmmm... I'll get right on that. Tomorrow. After 9:00 AM, when I'm awake again. :-)

We're famous!

That's right, we're famous. And yeah, that's pretty much a big, fat "royal we". (Since Darth Vader was long ago incinerated, I am the only living creature who can enjoy the fame.)

Get this. I saw my surgeon today and asked, just for kicks, how big the largest tumor he'd ever removed had been. He smiled his smirky little smile (those of you who've met the good doctor can envision this, I am sure) and said ... "Years ago, I took a really big tumor out of an older gentlemen. It was big. It was really big. But yours was bigger." Awesome! I told him I'd felt a little like I'd won the tumor lottery, knowing that I'd had the biggest tumor in his life. He laughed, outright. (This is a major win. Love the doc like I do, he is not a laugher as much as he's a smirker.)

One thing led to another, with all our tumor/cancer talk, and as we were talking about both the size of the tumor and the chance of return, he said something about the panel of doctors at the cancer conference having said that radiation should decrease the chance of return.

What?

What was that?

There was a panel of doctors talking about my tumor at a cancer conference?

Why, yes. Yes, there was.

It turns out that one of my many oncologists (my new life - it cracks me up, how many 35 yr olds do you know who have a team of oncologists? I mean really...) presented my case at the cancer conference, and there was a panel of doctors who sat with him and discussed treatment options. Across the board, radiation had been the prescribed treatment. ... It's good to know that I'm not wasting my time, lying on that radiation table for 10 minutes of my life every Monday-Friday.

When I called my mom to tell her the great news - that one of her kids finally has a serious claim to fame - she said "You're a freak." My response? "I'm not going to take that personally. It's not like you're a medical professional." Hers? "No, but I do know a little something about genetics." Hahaha!

So, we're famous, Darth and I. (In cancer circles, anyway.) I really did win the cancer lottery. I have a 13 inch scar, 5 tattoos, and was the subject of much discussion at the most recent cancer conference. The only thing that could make my life better? If I knew if I'd been added to a medical journal. I'll have to see what I can do about that.

It's awesome to be famous.

The End.

Theme Songs

Years ago, when I worked at Ye Olde Central Bank, there was a group of us that watched Ally McBeal. (I know, it's an old show. I told you, it was years ago. ... Just don't ask me how many years, because I really don't remember anymore.) Anyway, we would watch Ally, and then we'd come to work the next day and laugh about the coffee cup fantasy, or the dancing baby, or... or what our theme song would be, if we could choose one.

This was my theme song. (Forgive the cheesy video. It was the 90's, okay? And for the record, this song's a little twangy for my blood. But the words? Oh, heck yeah, they totally describe me.)



"I'm an emotional girl, I can't help myself. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I do both, and I don't know why. I have a passionate heart, and that's just the way things are." - Sound like anyone you know?

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend, explaining that I do, too, like to be hugged... it's just that few and far between are the people who I will let get close enough to hug me. (He'd thought that I hated to be hugged - by anyone. Bless him. He gets confused.) After I gave him the short list of reasons why I don't like strangers (or weirdies) to hug me, as well as a run-down on who is or is not allowed to touch me, he threw his hands up in the air and exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, you should come with a manual!".

Or maybe I could arrange it for my theme song to play whenever I enter or leave the room. Maybe that would help. Maybe...

Never were there such devoted sisters

This is my seester and me, circa 1992. (We were 17 and 5.) I love this pic.

Katie came to see me this week. I had her for almost a full 48 hours, and it was super fun. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we watched movies, we ate crappy food, we ate good food, we drove around, we shopped, we slept and we made merry. I love her!

Here are a couple funny stories from the past coupla days. (I tell you, my sister makes me LOL.)

We'd gone to Costco with our friend Jo and we were talking about dating, and I was expressing some concerns that I have about meeting anyone while I'm in the middle of these stupid radiation treatments. Jo was telling me that I shouldn't stop being social, just because I have this other thing going on on the side, that I'm still me, even if I can't eat normal food or do anything outlandish. My stance was that if I met anyone who was recovering from a summer full of surgery and cancer treatments, I'd be freaked the hell out that he'd gotten scared by the cancer and was just trying to find someone NOW, so he wouldn't die alone. ... Anyway, we went back and forth about the subject while Kate just watched and listened. It culminated in me saying that if I met someone right now and the cancer situation/role was reversed, I'd be thinking red flag. Jo told me that I need to retire some of my red flags, that that's just ridiculous. I was all "no freaking way, a red flag's a red flag". This is when Katie came in with "Laur, I swear, you're more like a literary character than a person, sometimes." Then she stood up and said "Come on, Elizabeth Bennet, let's go."

Hahahaha... I had to laugh out loud. The kid is hilar.

While at Costco, we had some hockdogs for lunch. (Seriously, $1.50 for a hotdog and a coke? I love that place!) While I did really enjoy my hockdog at the time, I was more than a little sick to my stomach for the rest of the day (I tell you, they're BIG). As Katie and I were on our way to my radiation treatment, I was whining about my stomach hurting and I said "eating that whole hockdog was the wrong choice". Kate's reply? "This is why you need to get your CTR ring resized." ... Right, like wearing a CTR ring is really going to help me choose the right when it comes to what I should eat for lunch. (I took my rings off before surgery, so nothing would happen to them while I was in the hospital. By the time I got back home and went to put them on, my fingers had shrunk and they didn't fit anymore. Consequently, I'm making bad food choices. Or so I hear.)

I do love my little sis. She's a sweet girl. She's super funny. She makes me look short. No one hugs me like she does. I can't imagine my world without her.



Thanks, Moo, for coming down - and for staying an extra night. (Sorry about the fact that I couldn't center a pic of us to save my soul. I need to hone my self-photography skills, clearly.)

Homework Assignment

I went over to my friend Jo's this afternoon and her middle-school aged daughter was working on her homework assignment. She was bored out of her mind (crazy kid), so she came into the kitchen and asked us if we'd help her. The assignment was to begin/finish proverbs with your own words. It was a blast to come up with different versions of well-known proverbs. Too bad Jo wouldn't let Roomie use some (most) of my suggestions. Here are some samples of my/our work.

Never underestimate the power of ... semi-automatic weaponry.

Children should be seen and not ... eaten.

There's no use crying over ... dumb boys.

If at first you don't succeed ... just give up on your dreams.

A good woman ... makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

True love never ... happens.

Home is where ... I go to sleep at night.

The best things in life are ... really (REALLY) expensive.

What you don't know ... can't make you furious.

All's well that ... goes my way.

I think, therefore I ... obsess.

There were a lot more, but those are all that I can remember right now. It was super fun, even if I did get vetoed on pretty much every contribution I threw out. (Something about how my caustic sense of humor wouldn't go over well in a 6th grade English class? I don't know what that's about.)

I heart wordplay.

The End.

I have the best boyfriends EVER!

Have I told you that I've been getting a lot of packages from my boyfriends lately? Well, it's true. They're sending me a lot of stuff to help me along in my recovery. And in every package, there's at least one (sometimes - oftentimes - more than one) autographed photo. I hang the autographed pics on my fridge. They're getting a little water spotty (because my sink splashes them every now and then), but I know where I could get more copies if I need them.



Sometimes they write me poetry. They're soooo romantic.




Oh, and sometimes they send my pretty necklaces. (Yup, that's a lei.)



From my favorite space cowboy. (Insert snarky laughter here.)



I so love him.

The End.

Is it just me, or... do I look like Mugatu?

Okay, maybe not so much, because I'm smiling in my pic instead of making that nasty sideways "I am superior" look at the camera. Also, you can't see the full extent of my poky-horn-hair. But trust me, it was a hilarious look-alike morning for me. As anyone who's every had a sleepover with me can attest, I have to put my hair up when I go to bed or I can't sleep. The recent humidity combined with laziness (I just piled my hair on top of my head and put a clip in it instead of bunning it, as I usually do) resulted in a fan-freaking-tastic morning look-alike.

Too bad I never wake up looking like Derek Zoolander. I could stand to be "really, really ridiculously good looking" every once in a while...

If at first you don't succeed, buy something else

I went shopping this afternoon for a potato ricer.

After no luck in two different stores, I went ahead and bought myself one of these.

I've wanted a microplane zester for... oh, I don't even know how long. And now I have one. Yay!

And then I came right home and did some online shopping. My potato ricer should be here in 3-5 days. (Double yay!)

That is all.