Okay, so the FFA question of the week is: What do you, or would you, hide from your kids?
Huh... interesting question. Sadly, I have no concrete answer, as I do not actually have children from which to hide anything. So, I guess that translates into, as of now, I am hiding the following:
1) Their mortal bodies. (As I don't have a man-person with which to create said children, I am currently witholding from them their own temporal selves.)
2) Their father. (Except that I am more prone to think that he's hiding himself from me, rather than that I am hiding him from our said future children.)
And I think that about sums up what I am currently hiding from my non-existant children. Now, if I did have kids, there are a few things I would definitely hide from them:
A) The Good Chocolate. (Yes, I felt that both Good and Chocolate deserve capitalization, as both words signify that I am talking about The Good Stuff - which is a proper noun. A kid can be happy with a package of smarties. I am in love with Ferrero Rocher. They are both candy, but they are not created equal. I won't give good candy to a kid, it's a waste.)
B) Super Glue. (Just in case there's a familial affinity for glueing one's person to one's self... I wouldn't want the stuff to fall into the hands of the young and innocent. I think, for obvious reasons, that there should be a minimum age cap on the use of Super Glue. I'm thinking 12, for the average bear. Of course, this translates into.... oh, 35, hopefully, for me.)
C) Money. (As I used to steal from my mom's stash of silver dollars, I know that kids can be theiving little wretches. Of course, as I was a stealer (and then a subsequent spender) of several silver dollars, I know how fun it was to steal/spend them - so maybe I wouldn't really hide those, so much as just make it a challenge for a kid to find them. Who knows, really?)
D) Doggie Treats. (I know. Who'd have thought that you'd have to hide doggie treats? Uh, I would. And why would I think this? Because I was the kind of kid who fed doggie treats to her younger brothers. Now that I'm an adult, I know that's gross. (Back then I just thought it was pretty darn funny.) So, I'd hide them from the kids so they couldn't give them out like candy (or, uh... jerky, actually) to their younger siblings.)
E) Girl Scout Cookies - Thin Mints, esp. (This is what I learned from my mother - buy cookies from every Girl Scout who comes to your door, and then hide them in the storage closet so you can eat them while your kids are in school/asleep/outside. You get the picture.)
And probably a slew of other things that I'd hide from the little monsters - mostly stuff that I don't want to share, or I'd want to keep clean. I'm kind of a pig that way. (Surprise!) :)
4 comments:
I think that the future father hiding from you is the dumbest thing that he could do! Look at all the time he is wasting! That man doesn't realize what he is missing!
I agree, chocolate is wasted on the young. Super Glue should have an IQ test on the bottle: if you can't pass it, you can't open it.
I would rather have my kid eat what goes into a dog, rather than what comes out. (Yep, we had a neighbor one time that...)
Shellee, two words. Seriously and Amen.
Now that you've said that about Super Glue you can consider yourself banned from my blog. Or maybe I'll just hold out and never tell you how many people in my biological line you've just offended by saying that you, apparently, think we're idiots for having glued ourselves together MULTIPLE TIMES. How's that for "turn-about's fair play"?.
And that's completely disgusting that your neighbor ate dog poo. Ugh. I'm shuddering, even as I type. Disgusting...
Okay, clearly, you know what's really important here . . . especially regarding the Good Chocolate (and yes, it is capitalized).
And sadly, you're right about the dog food, too, since Ellis has admitted to me that he used to eat dog food when he was a kid. Voluntarily. In fact, his parents had to hide it from him! (Especially, according to him, the Gravy Train . . . you really don't want details).
Oh wow... Gravy Train, huh? Nice. I remember eating cat food myself (Meow Mix, it was little X's and O's, really salty... that's about all I remember).
Gosh, kids are disgusting. Lucky for me, I am the oldest, so I was able to avoid the trauma that came with having an older sibling who'd bribe me with "jerky" from the doggie treat can. (I just went right for the gusto and handed the stuff out like it was... well... real jerky... to my brothers. So sick & wrong.)
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