Not that I don't love my life. I do. I lead a very blessed and wonderful life, and I try to be maintain an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis. There isn't anything that I need that I don't have. (And I have a lot of things that aren't needful, they're just plain fun.) I'm not complaining. There are so many worse things than being a single girl at my age, and yet....
My kingdom for a date with a man who knows how to floss (and has done so in the last 90 days).
My kingdom for a man who will not talk about how much he makes (hourly wages are not good conversation on a first date, let me tell you).
My kingdom for a man who will ask me questions about ME rather than droning on about his failed marriage(s).
My kingdom for a man who can read (past a 4th grade reading level).
My kingdom for a man who is taller than me (when I'm wearing shoes).
My kingdom for a man who knows that "ain't" is the A word that I'm talking about when I tell him that I can't live with that kind of language.
My kingdom for a man who can carry on a decent conversation.
My kingdom for a man who wouldn't justify having 5 tv's in a 2 bedroom apartment.
My kingdom for a man with good hygiene, a sense of humor - and an appreciation for the glorious thing that is... Me.
Like I said, I have a great life. I know this. And I am not complaining. There are so many things that are worse than being single. And yet... I can't help but think there have to be so many better guys out there than the ones I've been meeting lately. And so I say...
My kingdom for a man who I'd want to go out with twice.
Is that really too much to ask?
10 comments:
I love it! Made me think back to little Jim (and I mean LITTLE Jim). Remember him? Aw, how could YOU forget? You were the one he told he was 5'10".
My kingdom for a man who can pick up the towels off of the floor...why didn't I think of that earlier when I was trying to come up with a post?!
Oh yeah, Jim. The mini-man. Geez, Louise, how could I ever forget him? He was the first (in a long line of many men) who lied to me (and the rest of the www community) about his height. His profile said he was 5'10". Not so. I would know this, because I am 5'10" and I was barefoot when I opened the door for him - and had to CRANE my neck to make eye contact. Honestly...
Another of my favorites was Brian #2, who three days before he flew here from TN to meet me asked me how tall I was EXACTLY. "5'10" - exactly", was my response, and then "why? how tall are YOU - exactly?" (again, I had been led to believe he was 5'10") His answer "well... I know I'm 5'10", but a lot of my friends say I'm only 5'9 1/2". Yeah, I don't know if he was even 5'9". Love him to death, nicest guy ever... NOT 5'10".
Yeah, now, unless the dude says he's over 6', I pay him no mind. I figure if dudes who are 5'7 are saying they're 5'10" - worst case scenario is that dudes who are claiming 6'2" are about 5'11". I may be slow, but I'm catching on.
I think you are looking for Curt's twin. He's actually 6'1" (confirmed by the Dr. and I have the papers to prove it), hates TVs (we made a pact when we were married that they TV is not the center of the home and we would only have one TV at a time), hates swearing, and he thinks you are funny. He also is not to bad in the hygene area. So, with that being said, I will find you a "Curt-Twin". I'll keep looking for you.
Oh, Shellee, dear... you misunderstood me, I'm afraid. I don't hate swearing. Oh, hell... I'm a BIG fan of appropriate (by which I mean timely, and funny) swearing. The A word I can't live with is 'ain't'. I'm totally and completely fine with the other A word and it's many applications. Some of the funniest swears EVER have ass as a root. (Besides which, it's in the bible.)
Oh, don't even bring up the scriptures. Matt and I are like two 10 year olds every time the phrase "dumb ass" shows up. I mean....is there ANYONE who reads that as two words?
I mean, it's supposed to be the best book on earth. There should be a little humor in it somewhere.
Man, I'm going to get struck by lightning for that one!
Jen, I'm giggling like a 2nd grader over the "dumb ass" comment.
Oh, man, I love you!
I think I'll be giggling for a while about this one. You make me laugh Laurie.
Love, The Dibble's' (Have you ever seen that one before? Purely for your benefit.)
Awh, crap... the bishop's wife just caught me swearing. Oh well, it's not the first time. (True story: I once told I boy that I liked that he could go straight to hell - with the bishop's wife sitting in the pew in front of me. Classy is my middle name. Geeze...) Whit, please don't tell on me.
And - The Dibble's'? LOL. The only thing funnier than that is the high counselor who told the story about his son meeting Bro. Dribble on the trek. Hahahahahaha... that was great!
To clarify, the boy that I liked (who I told could go straight to hell) had spent the first 10-15 minutes at church "socializing" with another girl in my ward - a girl I was not too fond of. He came over as Sac Mtg started and asked if he could sit by me, and was full of apologies and explanations of what he had to talk to her about... thus, "you can go straight to hell - and take her with you". Unfortunately, by then the opening song had started and he couldn't very well get up and move. So we sat in relative silence for an hour and 10 minutes until the meeting was over. Oh yeah, my early 20's, good times.
(I had to clarify, lest any of you all thought I was just blurting out swears in Sac Mtg for kicks. I was provoked.)
Your blog cracks me up!
I'll have to agree with you that there is a DEFINITE shortage of tall men in this world. Before I got married my co-workers couldn't understand why one of my criteria was that the boy had to be taller than me. Hello? How can you not understand that?!
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