I ate ham. And... I liked it.
For those of you who haven't known me for 32 years, let me just say... that I even ate the ham right off the bone one time was a pretty big deal. That I eventually ate about a third of a whole ham over Thanksgiving weekend is absolutely mind-blowing. I mean, I'm the girl that grew up telling my folks that I didn't want a Mormon funeral if it meant that they were gonna have to eat ham and scalloped potatoes at the luncheon after the service. I'm not even kidding. For years, I told them that if they ate ham at dinner after they buried me, I'd haunt them and give them ALL the worst case of food poisoning EVER. When I moved away from home, my mom told me that if I was that adamant about the no-ham-at-my-funeral, I would need to let my RS President know - in every ward I ever lived in. And I have. I'll admit, it's a little awkward, telling a woman you just met that if you die while you live in her ward, you (under no circumstances) want to have ham served at your funeral luncheon, but... I've done it. More than once. Why? Because I was that anti-ham.
And then I went home for Thanksgiving last Fall, and... it all changed.
Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it was because I'd just lost my job and food (esp food that I didn't have to pay for) was tasting that much better. Maybe it was the homemade bread that I had in one hand, while I held a chunk o' ham in the other. I don't know what it was, but what I do know is... I fell in love with ham. Mind you, it still has to be a REAL ham. None of that processed "pressed pork" for me, thanks. But real ham, spiral cut and falling right off the bone? Oh, I'm in love.
So in love, actually, that I bought a 7 lb ham at the store on Saturday. (It's Easter, so it was less than $2 a pound, which I thought was pretty awesome.) I just opened the package today and... well, now I'm sick because I ate too much of that stupid pig. But it was worth it. I do love ham even more when it's dripping in the sugary honey glaze.
Oh, how I love to eat little piggies (snort). In all their salty goodness, they are my favorite of all the farm animals. (Except for when I'm sitting in front of a rare steak. Then the cows are my favorite.)
6 comments:
Snort!
Oh, man...you're killing me, Smalls.
Laughing my fool head off tonight.
I sure love me a little piggie especially when topped with real mashed potatoes (not those fake Mormon pearls - which are also good, but not nearly as good) and my mom's cheese gravy and corn - mix it up and I am in comfort food Heaven!!!!
I'm glad you have seen the light - can we have real ham at your funeral now, or are we still sticking with being anti-ham after death?
Hehehe... Jen, I threw that snort in just for you. (Well, for you and Lisa. And the waiter at Johnny Careno's, but I don't think he'd think it was all that funny, frankly.)
And Malori... I don't know that I'm gonna go straight to "sure, serve ham and I'm fine with it" at the funeral luncheon - but at least I'm not anti, like I used to be.
Congrats on branching out!
I love Easter weekend because of the ham, but not solely for the ham.
As for my funeral, we will be eating pizza and Native New Yorker wings. And have A&W on tap.
Curt and I went to a funeral a week or so ago and they served Chalo's Mexican Food from Globe. We'll be doing that for Curt's Funeral.
What the heck? All this talk of funerals!! Shellee, I can't believe you have the funeral menus all ready picked out.
That is funny! I've learned to be careful about what I say I'll never do or try, because without fail I always end up in the position that I have to eat my words.
I'm glad you liked it.
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