I went to the doctor this morning, and I have a post and a half to write about all the questions I had and the answers he gave me.
I mean, it's gonna be a long one. (And this is me, saying this, so consider yourself duly warned that you'll need to have had a lunch break prior to sitting down to read this post, because you're gonna be here for a while.)
But this long post won't be written tonight. I missed my evening nap (should have been in bed by 5:00), and I'm too tired to type clearly (or at least, clearly AND easily). So, instead of writing a long post, I thought it might be fun to show you just how illiterate I get when I'm tired and the semi-paralysis of my right hand sets in.
Remember, this is for fun. I give you a paragraph, completely unedited, written in my current (exhausted) state:
Sine of tiym I'm sure have thought that U was exagerrating tge deotgif how badkt nt soekkubg abd punctuation are ruggt biw, U guve tiy tgus oaragraog as evudebce if giw carefykkt U gave ti wrtie right now. It is exhausting. It us difficult. It is stull worth the effirt, because I think that my story is inportant to tell and feel that the wirj isworth is. But it is hard, and time-intensive, to say the least. They longer I Type, the better U get at it, and I knot that it will akk come back in time, but for now... this is me, unedted.
Translation:
Some of you, I'm sure, have thought that I was exaggerating the depth of how bad my spelling and punctuation are right now. I give you this paragraph as evidence of how carefully I have to write right now. It is exhausting. It is difficult. It is also still worth the effort, because I think that my story is an important story to tell and feel that the work is worth it. But it is hard, and time-intensive, to say the least. The longer I type, the better I get at it, and I know that it will all come back in time, but for now... this is me, unedited.
This isn't the first time that motor skill loss has been a side effect of a surgery. I've lost the ability to type with prior surgeries. It's like that part of my brain shuts down. (Reading is really difficult as well. Letters swim on paper, and I get really dizzy after just a few minutes.) It's a hard thing to live with - frustrating (and some days, scary as hell, because who am I without my words?!), but I trust that the ability to type, read ... work with words ... will come back, as it has with surgeries past.
In the meanwhile, know that there is a very real reason that some posts are delayed. If I'm having a hard day, or am more tired than usual, the typing gets worse, so I have to delay posting until such a time that it doesn't cause greater frustration to write than it should.
*And here's the kicker: Today has been a good day (I'm just tired, but I feel pretty good), so that sample is really not such a great/terrible example of how bad my typing CAN be.
