The dam has broken, my friends. The. Dam. Has. Broken.
I went almost two weeks without one single high-speed come apart, and had a five day stretch in which I didn't feel like I couldn't breathe even once.
And then the dam broke this afternoon. In a major way.
I don't know if it's that it was a killer of a Monday, if it's the knowledge that my work week is going to be wonky because I will be working weird hours Wed-Fri to comp out my time for my doctor appointments on Thursday and Friday. It could be nerves because I a) hate to have MRI's and know that I'm scheduled for not one, but two, back-to-back on Thursday and b) I'll get results from said MRI's on Friday and I don't know what I'll hear. It could be that I've been feeling guilt for not doing enough, church-wise, in my calling. It could be latent frustration with the awkward date I had on Saturday. It could be anticipation of knowing that this week will be a really busy one, and I have no idea where the energy to do all the stuff I need to do is going to come from. ... It's probably a mixture of all of the above.
All I know is, the dam has broken and I'm a crying mess again. Thank heaven for Ativan and sleep.
Goodnight. (Literally, goodnight. At 9:00 PM, I'm getting in bed. I've had enough of this day.)
