Today I had what will probably be my last appointment with my sweet, old oncologist who I love so much. Now that he's referred me to MD Anderson, they're in charge of my treatment plan and we're gonna let them take over. He did ask me to make sure that he gets copied with my treatment plan. He wants to know what's happening in my life, when I have surgery and what's going on. He wrote down all the details that I could give him. He, of course, already had the name of the (single, can I just say it one more time? ... single) oncologist he'd referred me to, but he wrote down the name of the surgeon, too.
We talked about chemo vs. surgery. I wasn't sure that he'd agree with their "watch and wait, then cut it out at an undetermined point in the future" plan (since he's the one who'd wanted to go the chemo route), but when I explained it, he just nodded and said that he wouldn't have thought of that, but he supported it. He looked at me with his kind, happy eyes and told me that he was just glad that they were here now. He said, "It's too bad they weren't here a couple years ago, when this all started to happen in your life, but they are here now, and they will be able to help you. ... And you didn't even have to travel to get to them!" (In the past, he's referred patients to MD Anderson and they had to travel to TX for treatments/surgery. I'm very fortunate in that, by the time that I got to the point that I simply had to go outside the treatment box that I'd originally been placed in, they'd come to me.)
I have been so grateful for a doctor who cares about who I am as a person. I love that he's a bit of a kindred spirit, in that he thinks that timing is everything. He has helped me to see how blessed I have been. He has truly connected with who I am and what I am going through, and I will miss him. He makes me laugh, and as soon as something is hard for me and I start to cry, his eyes tear up, too.
I have absolutely loved my old man doctors (both my original surgeon and oncologist are old enough to be my dad). I told him that I will miss having him be my oncologist, but that having a single oncologist a little closer to my age will help take the sting out of it. He just laughed and said that maybe he should have warned this new doctor that I was coming. ... I told him that it was too late, I'd already (sort of) pounced and ... uh... asked him to marry me. He threw his head back and laughed at that, but he did agree to give me a good personal reference, if he was ever asked for one.
It was a great visit. Full of all the regular high and low points: sitting in the waiting room for almost an hour before I get back to an exam room (this is actually one of the most therapeutic things I do in my life - sit in waiting rooms in oncology offices and hospital wards - nothing makes me more grateful for the weirdie and uncommon strain of tumors/cancer that I have than seeing a half dozen or so patients who are clearly and obviously worse off than I am), having the man mash on my stomach (good news! - the tumor is still small enough that it can't be felt from the outside, even when my stomach and back are kneaded like bread dough), some good laughs and a few tears. I got more than my usual share of hugs from the man, and he told me that I'm always welcome to come in and say hello, even if I'm not technically his patient anymore.
My goodness, he's been good to me and so good for me. The man has let me be silly, and he's let me be emotional. He's been completely comfortable with me just... well, being me. He's explained so much about different kinds of cancers and the treatments for them. I've learned a lot from him, as a patient and as a person. I'm so grateful that the hospital just assigned me to him when I had my first surgery. I don't know that I could have ever found someone as delightful as he has been, had I been looking on my own. He helped me as much as he could for as long as he could, and when he found a sarcoma specialist to take me on, he was really great about getting me over there and letting me go.
I never cease to be amazed at the Lord's hand in my life, esp in regard to the care that I have received. Since the very beginning of all of this, I've been put in the hands of men and women that I felt like I could trust with my life. (Which is lucky, since I do have to trust them with it. Literally.) Do I want cancer? No. But if I have to have cancer (and, clearly, I do), I love that I live in a city where there are incredible resources and medical professionals who can help me through it.
